Do you suffer from Dunlap Syndrome? How about CBT?
In the medical world, the two are similar terms for the same condition: obesity. The first means your belly done lapped over your waistband and the second stands for chronic burger toxicity.
The medical profession has slang and acronyms galore, so the next time the stress and strain of farming drive you to a doctor, have a look at your chart. Besides the serious stuff, it might contain codes to describe you or your condition.
If you see something about a fifth floor transfer, and the hospital has only four floors, your condition is really serious. Ditto the notations CTD (circling the drain), FTD (fixing to die), RBS (really bad shape) and OFIGATOOS (one foot in grave and the other one slipping.)
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You’ve waited too long to seek medical help if you see the following: PBOO (pine box on order); UNIVAC (unusually nasty infection, vultures are circling); or ART (assuming room temperature.)
If that is the case, don’t let them take you to the ECU (eternal care unit) and decline to accept a celestial discharge.
The calibre of your physician might be revealed in the following notations: GOK (God only knows); LOFD (looks okay from the door); (SWAG (scientific wild — guess) or AQR (ain’t quite right.)
A mix-up in your diagnosis or medication? SODDI (some other doctor did it.)
Is your condition age-related? Your doctor might think so if he scribbles COPD (chronic old person’s disease) or TMB (too many birthdays).
If alcohol was a factor in your situation, check for these: DFO (drunk, fell over); AGA (acute gravity attack); UBI (unexplained beer injury) or perhaps even JPS (just plain stupid.)
Is your ailment chronic? Yes, if your chart says HIBGIA (had it before, got it again.)
Clues regarding your doctor’s personal opinion of you might be revealed in the following: LMC (low marble count); OPD (obnoxious personality disorder); or NARS (not a rocket scientist.) You might even be deemed to have cranial rectal inversion.
If you fail to heed medical advice, watch for the notations FODE (falling on deaf ears) and WNL (will not listen.)
Unless you have acute pneumoencephalopathy (you’re an airhead), or you’re pumpkin positive (have a head so empty it would glow like a jack-o-lantern if lit) you will realize medical slang and acronyms are just examples of black humour that help medical professionals handle job stress.
