Army of ants takes on the spiders - Editorial Notebook

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Media last week reported the discovery of a massive colony of ants.

This “largest co-operative unit ever recorded,” according to the

Toronto Star, stretches about 6,000 kilometres from the Italian Riviera

to the coast of northwestern Spain.

Ants, long known as models of industry, normally fight when they

encounter others from a different nest. But these ants, reported the

Globe and Mail, “act like one big happy family.”

This activity “runs counter to conventional theory that altruistic

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behaviour occurs only among relatives. Strangers, the theory goes,

would naturally fight.”

Let us turn our proboscises now to the worker ants of our country, also

known as Canadian farmers. These industrious beings frequently join

colonies, also know as farm groups, and commence to further their

agendas whilst growing and gathering food for the voracious appetites

of the Canadian and international public.

Upon encountering another colony working at perceived cross-purposes,

battles ensue. The centre of insect life, also known as Parliament

Hill, then becomes a teeming mass of conflicting requests, the result

being that the political arachnids are able to spin their sticky webs

as usual while claiming confusion about the ants’ real needs.

With the efficiency of a No-Pest strip, the Western Producer newsroom

last week collected News release

newsfrom farmer colonies representing a

sizable population of agricultural ants. You’ve read it here first:

it’s an apparent and even dazzling replication of the co-operative

spirit permeating the ant colony on the Riviera.

Canadian Federation of Agriculture, Wild Rose Agricultural Producers,

Agricultural Producers of Saskatchewan, Keystone Agricultural

Producers, Grain Growers of Canada, Saskatchewan Wheat Pool and

Agricore United are all asking the government spiders for the same

thing.

They want a trade injury compensation program for grain and oilseed

producers. They’ve even agreed on a figure: $1.3 billion for losses

between 1995 and 2000.

As requests go, that’s quite an armful, even for ants, who have many

arms and can lift several times their own weight. But lift it they

have.

Co-operation, altruistic behaviour and a clear direction – these

agricultural ants plan to eliminate confusion on the big hill and march

to victory.

Now, the arachnids must overcome a shortcoming common to the

multi-appendaged, that of giving with one hand and taking away with the

other. They’ve had a lot of practice, but if ants can break the

stereotype, maybe spiders can too.

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