Q: Our grandson is going to move in with us this fall when he starts university. He has been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder and is under psychiatric care to monitor his medication and has regular counseling and life skills programing with a mental health nurse. What else can we do while he is with us?
A: I think it is commendable that Grandma and Grandpa care enough about their grandchildren to support them when needed. I am sure you have researched bipolar disorders and equally sure you have found it to be a complicated challenge.
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Bipolar people are often on an emotional roller coaster, going hyper at times followed by descents into depression and despair. Very often this emotional variable can be controlled through medication, but only if the correct dosage is taken at the appropriate times.
The mental health nurse whom your grandson is seeing is important. They will monitor your grandson’s behaviour and report to the psychiatrist if changes need to be made in the medication prescribed.
To help your grandson succeed at university, you will need to build a respectful and honest relationship with him. There will be times when you see him being hyper before he is ready to admit to it himself, just as there will be times when you will wonder about his personal depression.
If you have an open, honest relationship with him, you should be able to talk to him about your observations and plan with him when to call either the mental health nurse or his consulting psychiatrist.
Your grandson’s psychiatrist and mental health nurse are governed by the rules of confidentiality. They cannot talk to you at will unless they have written permission from your grandson to do so. You need to get that authorization from him and then consider a joint session including you, your grandson and his mental health nurse.
His nurse will have suggestions about what you might and might not do should your grandson have a spate of hyperactivity or depression.
Either way, it is best if you have strategies in mind to help you and your grandson through whatever you might confront. Your grandson’s episodic reactions are likely not predictable. He cannot warn you when one or the other of them is in progress. You need to know what to watch for and have a strategy to see him through.
Given that your grandson has the support of his professional advisers and that they believe he can be successful at university, I think it is fair to say your home could become a safe haven. The more that you can integrate your generosity into the treatment team already in place, the better the odds for helping your grandson keep his bipolar disorder in check.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
