I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan to retire – ever. I do plan to do more of what I want to do and less of what I don’t want to do. I’ll be 60 on my next birthday, and I feel more contented, optimistic and interested in life now than I have ever been and I look forward to many stimulating years to come.
Thirty years ago, it would have been unbelievable to me that I could feel this way at this age.
In his book Second Growth: The Six Paradoxes of Third Age Renewal, William A. Sadler quotes Dr. Theodore Lidz, former chair of psychiatry at Yale University, as having written this about people in their 40s: “Middle age is initiated by awareness that the peak years of life are passing. A person realizes that he is no longer starting on his way, his direction is usually well set, and his activities will determine how far he will get. The middle-aged individual becomes aware that ill health and even death are potentialities that hover over him.”
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Lidz pretty well sums up society’s view of aging. We see it everywhere: television, radio and magazines. Older adults look ditzy or klutzy or just plain not with it. That would simply be annoying to us midlifers if we didn’t believe all that negative stereotyping. Believing it makes it dangerous to us.
In his book, however, Sadler goes on to tell the stories of many people who reinvented themselves and their careers in their 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. These people didn’t believe the stories about aging that society passes around and started down exciting new paths that made their “third age” better than anything that had come before.
More than 88 million North Americans, nearly one-third of the population, either soon will be or are already older than 50.
Some forecasters are predicting dire consequences to society from this greying of North America, but these dismal forecasts are based on the past, with its largely outdated concepts of aging.
Even as recently as 50 years ago, middle age was thought to be about 35: halfway through a normal lifespan of 70 years. One hundred years ago, the average life expectancy at birth in industrialized countries was less than 50 – less than 40 in some cases.
Now middle age is at least 40 and life expectancy is about 82 for a man of 40 years or older. At birth, life expectancy is a bit lower, but if you didn’t die at a younger age, which you obviously haven’t, you have a good chance of living into your 80s. In baby boomer jargon, “50 is the new 40.”
That being the case, Alan Pifer, former chair of the Carnegie Corp. Project on the Aging Society, said this new longevity is like having a new third quarter in our life span, or “30 year bonus,” which “should constitute a period of rebirth, with the awakening of new interests and enthusiasm for life and new possibilities for being productive.”
However, these extra years also present us with a challenge: how can we tap our true potential and make these extra years better not only for ourselves but also for our society?
We can figure out our next career, whether for pay or as a volunteer, by reading books such as Second Growth: The Six Paradoxes of Third Age Renewal, meditating on what we still want to achieve, asking ourselves questions such as, “if I died in the next 24 hours, what would I regret not having done?” and asking friends we trust what they see as our natural talents or particular strengths.
Here’s a website that might also be useful: www.your-career-change.com.
Because we are living longer: three things become important:
- We must avoid believing the nonsense that our society passes around about aging. As the great pitcher Satchel Paige said, “how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
- We need to think about and clarify what we feel passionate about. In coaching midlife men, I find that the thing we have hidden deepest in ourselves is the passion we need now to discover and start acting on.
- We need to start taking action, one small step at a time, toward what we think we want to do next. It will clarify itself as we move forward.
If we don’t do this stuff, it’s going to be a long 30 year bonus.
Edmonton-based Noel McNaughton is a sponsored speaker with the Canadian Farm Business Management Council, which will pay his fee and expenses for speaking at meetings and conventions of agricultural organizations. To book him, call 780-432-5492, e-mail: farm@midlife-men.com or visit www.midlife-men.com.
