Here we go again with the silly nauseating season. Spring, when us farmers go on our silly horribly stupid spending spree an politicians contemplate nauseating elections.
Nobody will ever stop farmers in their mad dash to be first over the cliff but surely if we worked on it we could reverse the trend of politico’s sucking the lifeblood from taxpayers.
I received one idea from a news article out of Manitoba. It seems in their Riding Mountain National Park that a tiny bug called a winter tick is expected to kill about 900 moose. Park staff say this is not causing great alarm. They did not carry on to say that should some hungry person shoot a moose steak they would not lodge him in jail an throw away the key.
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Agriculture needs to prepare for government spending cuts
As government makes necessary cuts to spending, what can be reduced or restructured in the budgets for agriculture?
The idea, which I must credit to the Farmers Taxpayers Federation (a completely insolvent group) is to perfect a blood-suckin all season political tick to see how they like it fer a change. Not to completely do them in but at least keep them anemic enough they may leave us alone.
This, of course, does not solve the dreaded silly farmers disease, which causes uncontrolled spending. Even when a slight glance at input prices causes severe cramps while actual purchase almost brings on a heart attack.
The solution is quite simple. We have to invent our own genes, something like that terminator gene they’re gonna put in our crops so they’ll be sterile.
To that end a select group of old farmers are brewin up a batch in the back corner of the shop.
No, not what yer thinkin. We’re making arm muscle genes. These shall be inserted into the air systems of those places where buyers bid on our grain. You know, those glorified legal gold mines where we get the shaft an they gain the ounces.
This gene will cause involuntary arm waving, which we hope will be taken as bidding.
