Most of the time we try to avoid stress, but it can have a pay-off that some folks seek out.
Some people hurry about, striding here and rushing there, always having too much to do and making sure everyone knows it. This busyness can make a person seem important. (Gosh, she has all that to do. Poor thing. How does she get it all done?) It can also be a way to avoid intimacy. You can be “too busy” to take time for connecting deeply with spouse and family, so you don’t have to risk the emotional discomfort that can accompany that kind of connection.
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Stress can also give you a bit of a rush. When you are on the verge of overload and alarm, your body responds by pumping adrenaline into your system. You feel sharp and alert. Later you crash, but that pumped-up feeling can be addictive.
Here is what the stress-addicted folks do to stay stressed:
- They worry about all kinds of things they can’t control and procrastinate over taking action on the things they can control. When the situation looks really bad, they change a lot of things at once so they can maintain a state of chaos and “work hard” all the time.
- They are perfectionists in all they do, setting ridiculously high standards for themselves and then beating themselves up for not meeting those standards.
- They don’t exercise and they watch lots of TV or play computer games. They also make sure they eat whatever they want, including plenty of sugar and caffeine so they put on weight, feel edgy and don’t sleep.
- They avoid practices that can bring inner peace, such as prayer and meditation.
- They suppress their sense of humour. Being stressed is serious business. They also get rid of any social support system they have. They are John Wayne clones, toughing it out and suffering alone. As well, they remember to take everything personally so they can be incensed over little things.
Maybe you are not the kind of person who thrives on being stressed all the time. In fact, if you want less stress, try this:
- Accept that some stress is good. When you have no stress, you are dead. The idea is to manage stress rather than get rid of it.
- Exercise your funny bone. Laughter keeps stress in its place.
- Get serious about exercise. My research shows almost nothing is as effective as exercise for maintaining health, regulating weight and fighting depression, which often goes hand-in-hand with stress.
- Manage your impulse spending. Follow my father’s advice: if you just have to have something, wait two weeks. If you still need it, go buy it. Put what you don’t spend into savings, which can help reduce financial stress.
- Be realistic about your expectations. A principle in Buddhism is that “frustration is caused by desiring that which will not be attained.” Ergo, to avoid frustration, avoid desiring what you can’t have.
- As the old song says, keep on the sunny side. Much of what happens is out of our control, but how we react to it is 100 percent within our control.
- Maintain spiritual disciplines. Prayer and meditation and belonging to a spiritual community can do much for inner peace and serenity.
- Perhaps most importantly, stay in touch with friends, spend time with family, give hugs with abandon and let people know you love them. They’ll do the same for you.
Edmonton-based Noel McNaughton is a former broadcaster and rancher who lectures on farm lifestyle issues at agriculture conventions and for corporations. He can
be reached at 780-432-5492, e-mail:
noel@midlife-men.com, or visit www.midlife-men.com.
