Back when I was with CBC, I interviewed a couple who had lost their farm in northern Alberta. When they realized it was over and they couldn’t hang on any longer, they loaded their two kids and a few possessions into their half-ton truck and snuck away in the middle of the night, full of shame and guilt and a sense of failure.
Then an interesting thing happened. After a few days they began to realize they hadn’t lost their lives, they had only lost their farm. They were still together as a family, they were healthy and they could move on to other things.
Read Also
Crop insurance’s ability to help producers has its limitations
Farmers enrolled in crop insurance can do just as well financially when they have a horrible crop or no crop at all, compared to when they have a below average crop
There was sadness and even grief to deal with, after having put so much energy into a project without getting the results they had hoped for. But they began to mentally and emotionally separate themselves from their farm. They started to see it for what it was: an asset intended to support their lives; not a project they had to give their lives to support.
When I interviewed them six months after that bleak night, the husband, we’ll call him “Don”, was managing a hog farm and had no burning desire to get back into owning a farm.
Don said that during the months leading up to losing the farm, he became psychologically paralyzed and didn’t do the things he should have done, which might conceivably have allowed them to keep the farm.
For example, he should have been bringing their books up to date, clarifying their financial situation and meeting with their banker. Instead, he fixed gates, puttered in the shop and did other non-essential work because it made him feel like he was doing something, even though inside he knew it wasn’t what needed to be done.
He had a secret longing for a magical solution that would suddenly appear and solve their financial problems. This sort of thinking is common among financially stressed people, says George Kinder in The Seven Stages of Money Maturity: Understanding the Spirit and Value of Money in
As their financial situation worsened, this couple also withdrew from their community. They stopped curling and skipped church suppers. In fact, they skipped church altogether. “Carol,” the wife, said it was as though they just stayed at home and focused in on each other and the stress of their situation. Their world seemed to close in on them, adding to their paralysis.
Another couple, “Edwin and Connie,” who made their first real financial plan during one of my holistic management training programs in 1994, suddenly “discovered” they had a $40,000 bank payment due in two months, and if they didn’t make it, they would lose their farm.
When they mentioned this to me, I suggested they hire one of my facilitators for a couple of days to help them assess their situation and develop a course of action.
Within a week they had a plan. They sold half their cattle, most of their machinery and part of their land base, which allowed them to make the bank payment. I ran across Edwin in early January two years later, and he said just the week before, on Jan. 1, they had “got to zero,” meaning they were debt free and still owned the farm.
Here are guidelines for folks who are struggling financially:
- Create a financial plan that leaves out hoped-for, but not guaranteed, political or market developments, such as the U.S border opening to Canadian cattle or bad weather in some other part of the world increasing crop prices here.
- With your financial plan in hand, talk to your banker. His bank doesn’t want to own your farm and he will work with you to help you keep it. However, he has to know your situation.
- Stay in touch with friends and community. Don’t withdraw from your social and emotional support network. This is especially important for men.
- If you have the symptoms of stress, see your doctor.
- Be extra communicative and gentle with your spouse and children. Again, it is mostly men I am talking to here. Go so far as to tell family members you love them on a regular basis. It is amazing what the simple reassurance that you love and will stick with each other can do to lighten the heaviest load of worry and stress. If you are uncomfortable saying I love you Ñ get over it.
Edmonton-based Noel McNaughton is a professional speaker, coach and writer who specializes in guiding men and women through the uncertainty of life transitions. He can be reached toll-free at 877-736-1552. Website: www.midlife-men.com.
