PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, Man. – When Carter and Judy Berezay got into a
playful tussle after returning home from work on an October evening in
1992, they had no idea what it would lead to.
Their children, Michael and Angela, soon joined in on the family
frolic, a lighthearted moment that helped the cares of the day slip
away for the Winnipeg family.
But as they tussled with one another, someone accidentally kicked
Carter on the left side of his neck.
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Carter, who was 39 years old at the time, didn’t give the blow to his
neck much thought. He was a strong, healthy man still in the prime of
his life.
What he didn’t realize was that the kick to his neck had collapsed a
carotid artery, a vital carrier of blood to the brain. The injury would
cause a stroke that would turn their world upside down.
The day after his injury Carter began to suffer headaches.
Two days later, after attending their son’s Saturday morning hockey
game, Carter’s leg went numb and he struggled to walk up a ramp at the
hockey arena.
A friend drove him to a hospital to find out what was wrong.
“When you’re 39 years old, and you can’t walk, you get a lot of
attention,” he said last week while speaking at the annual convention
of the Manitoba Women’s Institute.
His symptoms subsided while he was at the hospital and he returned home
the same day.
It wasn’t until the following Monday, while he was getting ready for
work, that he felt the full brunt of having a collapsed artery in his
neck.
Barely able to walk, he found himself staggering around the house,
still not knowing what was happening to him. He spilled his coffee and
accidentally knocked a television over.
He was again rushed to the hospital, except this time he would stay
there for almost a month.
The doctors confirmed that he had had a stroke.
The right side of his body was partially paralyzed. His speech was
slurred and his emotions had gone “flat.”
His road to recovery would be a long one, marked by a period of deep
depression and a battle to overcome an alcohol addiction.
His weight quickly fell from 177 pounds to 123, leaving him with the
appearance of an old, frail man. But Carter, who describes himself as
stubborn, was able to meet the challenges with support from family and
friends.
He considers his wife, Judy, the heroine in their story because of the
unfaltering support and strength she showed following his stroke.
“We all feel bad for the person who has had the stroke,” said Carter.
“My message is that we should feel worse for the caregivers.
“My family became the caregivers after I had my stroke.”
Judy looks back on the day that Carter had the stroke as the worst day
in her life. The stroke left her husband detached and reluctant to
share his feelings with anyone.
“I had married one person and now I was married to a completely
different person. To be quite frank, I didn’t like him very much.”
Take the reins
However, their marriage endured, and Judy met the challenges of holding
down a job while caring for a family and managing a home.
She went to work full time and studied to become a certified financial
planner. She now is an investment and retirement planner with a bank.
She remembers some of the trying times that came in the months
following Carter’s stroke.
She and their children worried about Carter’s well-being, both physical
and emotional. The children would often phone her at work for
assurances that some change in his disposition was not a sign that he
was again in peril.
“The kids were terrified they would lose their dad.”
Judy worried about her husband, but also wondered how the children
would be affected by the family’s trouble. She wanted to shield them
from some of the worst of what was happening, but in hindsight, she
believes it would have been better to be more candid.
Carter underwent several years of rehabilitation to recover the use of
his right hand and arm and to regain his ability to speak clearly.
He and Judy both say their priorities have changed since the stroke.
Carter used to concern himself with money and how to get more of it.
Now the emphasis is on spending time with family and friends.
Knowing that he might not survive another stroke, he values each day
that he is alive. There was a time after the stroke when he went to
sleep wondering if he would live to see the next day.
“I’m glad to be anywhere, every day.”
His encouragement to seize on the enjoyment of life was one of the
messages he told the rural women.
Carter also encouraged people to know the signs that indicate a stroke
may be imminent and to heed those if they appear.
