Work is important to gain resources and to acquire a sense of self-importance.
But work can become a siren, luring you from other responsibilities of life, such as your family and friends, or even your physical needs.
This happens if you believe your worth as a human is only based on what you do or achieve in life. Then a person pours himself into work, thinking that this is what his spouse and family want him to do.
The key word to work is balance. We need to recognize when to invest in our relationships with family and friends outside our work circle.
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Work widows occur not just because of a husband’s long hours of work, but because he may invest more of his recreational and leisure time with people with whom he works. In some cases, alcohol is a part of this leisure time and that adds other pressures to the marriage.
Our attitude toward work is related to values we are not always aware of. These may be taught to us by our parents or derived from ads that stress success means having all the material possessions they advertise.
I am surprised that macho “boy toys” are not named as parties in many divorces. We all need recreation. Families and couples need things to do together, but they also need to do things on their own. We all need to be a person in our own right. We also need to be a spouse, a parent, a friend or neighbour.
There are fields of work where it occupies almost all of a person’s life for a long period of time, such as farming, accounting and health care. People in those fields need to make time for other activities.
People often deny they have a work addiction. Sometimes it’s only when a spouse leaves or a serious health problem arises that a person may start to recognize the trap they have worked themselves into.
There are many good books and articles about this. Go to my library website at www.lib.sk.ca./books/info/dailyherald/intro.html. Then do a search of “work addiction.”
Peter Griffiths is a mental health counsellor based in Prince Albert, Sask. His columns are intended as general advice only. His website is www.sasktelwebsite.net/petecope.
