CAMROSE, Alta. – Farm women serve as the chief emotional officers of their families, says a speaker at the 19th annual Fall Focus seminar.
Elaine Froese of Boissevain, Man., said women must often take on the difficult subject of farm succession planning and they are better at understanding the different needs of fathers and children.
Froese said during her coaching talks about emotions, it hits home with her audiences that “she’s talking about Dad.” While the adult children may be ready to take over the farm, their dad sees a bleak future.
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“He sees there’s nothing afterward.”
Often the spouse will have to encourage a farmer who won’t quit to see alternatives.
Froese, who farms with her husband, has been writing a regular column in an agricultural newspaper, Grainnews, for the past 10 years and has been speaking about the emotional and spiritual sides of farm life for two decades.
This spring, she published a book called Planting the Seed of Hope, which was printed by her company called Seeds of Encouragement.
Being upbeat has been hard this year on her farm. While the canola was good, the wheat and barley weren’t and peas yielded five bushels per acre.
Froese said people choose their responses to situations, whether negative or positive.
She demonstrated on the conference stage the five gifts of love that people should present to each other. She unwrapped items that represented the gifts of time, verbal affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and actual gifts such as candy and flowers.
Those who missed her speech at Fall Focus can pick up some tips on talking about difficult subjects from a Nov. 21 on-line course she is conducting. Preregister at www.farmcentre.com.
In her speech to the 350 farm women gathered for the conference, organization consultant Pat Katz of Saskatoon informed the women that they will never complete all the tasks that life throws at them so they might as well learn how to take breaks and relax.
She told the women to look at themselves for evidence of being too busy.
A common indicator is to go to another room and forget what you were doing or to drive to town only to wonder once you’ve arrived what you came for.
She said women who deprive themselves of sleep end up ill or drowsy.
“More insidious is the blur and endure syndrome. That’s when you look at pictures of a wedding and say, ‘oh yes, I was there,’ when you were too busy at the event to take it in.”
Women should look at taking breaks as making an investment in health and life.
She also recommended physical activity as a way to relieve stress.
That can backfire, said Katz, who noted her mother tries taking walks around her farm but people keep stopping to offer her a ride or asking if she is OK.
Katz said her grandfather used to always take a nap after lunch as his way to be refreshed and ready to tackle the next batch of chores.
“What keeps your spirits up through this year’s long harvest? Think about how the work you do is putting food on other peoples’ tables. Hurricanes and earthquakes this year showed how important food is.”
Katz said her favourite story is about the fellow who passed her in a golf cart, talking into his cell phone saying, “start the barbecue. I’m five minutes from the campground.”
Katz said women should keep the overloaded laundry baskets and pile of dishes in perspective and know it for what it is – never-ending work.
“A break is not to save time but to savour time.”
