Q: I am worried about our seven-year-old son. He seems to be having a sleeping problem. At first he had what seemed to be the occasional bad night and I did not give it much thought. But this has been going on for some time now and he is tired and cranky much of the time. My mother tells me that I have spoiled him. She thinks that I give in to him too much and if I did not do so, he would not have problems settling down for the night. I do not think that I spoil him, butI would like to do what is right to help him recover from what appear to be sleep problems.
Read Also
Food can play a flavourful role in fun summer activities
Recipes – popsicles are made with lactose-free milk and yogurt so are perfect for those who can’t tolerate milk, while everyoneelse will also enjoy them
A: Sleep is more important in young people’s lives than parents sometimes realize. Parents may think that they are doing their children a favour letting them stay up past their usual bedtimes. But children between the ages of six and 12 need 10 to 11 hours of sleep every night. Teenagers need about nine hours a night.
If your child is having a sleep problem, your first job is to get him to see your doctor for a checkup. Sleep apnea (snoring) is not uncommon in young children, as is restless leg syndrome, asthma and the constant itch of eczema. All of these are medical conditions that interfere with children’s sleep.
Psychological conditions can also disrup sleep. Sometimes we forget that there are children whose lives are filled with fears and anxieties and that children will grieve the family divorce almost as much as their parents do. When they do so, they may struggle to sleep at night.
If the doctor says your son’s insomnia is not caused by medical conditions and that it has more to do with bad habits or emotional difficulties, you can do a number of things to help him settle down.
First, help him understand that the purpose of his bed is sleep and that it is not a play area. He needs to be clear that when he goes to bed, he is expected to go to sleep.
Second, your son needs a regular bedtime schedule. That schedule should hold as much as possible during weekends as it does during school nights, at least until he has made some progress with his insomnia.
The schedule begins at least an hour before lights out, with you encouraging him to gradually slow down from the activities of the day. It continues until lights out and he is in bed.
Third, on those nights when your son is restless, let him get out of bed and either read or do something quietly for 15 minutes.
A restless night is a bad experience for him and the longer it goes on, the more upsetting it is, making it even more difficult to get to sleep. Taking a break will help him settle down.
Fourth, you can start to teach your son how to relax by practising deep breathing exercises with him or muscle relaxation techniques.
Finally, make sure your son is not consuming caffeine from soda pop or chocolate. He needs exercise and a nutritious diet, not just for sleeping but for participating in a well-rounded life style.
If all else fails, you can talk to your doctor about some type of sleeping medication. Most are reluctant to prescribe sleeping pills for children and will want to monitor it closely to ensure the medication does not do any harm.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
