Q:As much as I love my husband, I find his tendency to procrastinate irritating. He puts off doing just about everything almost indefi-nitely, or at least until his brother and I nag him to pieces. My husband says that he wants to change and that he is waiting for the right moment to make things right, but I am not sure when that moment is going to come.
In the meantime, his machine shop will continue to be totally disorganized even though he promised to clean it up. What can he do to change?
Read Also
Food can play a flavourful role in fun summer activities
Recipes – popsicles are made with lactose-free milk and yogurt so are perfect for those who can’t tolerate milk, while everyoneelse will also enjoy them
A:Although your husband is aware of problems his procrastination causes, something about procrastinating is rewarding – like sparing himself the agonies of doing something boring or stressful. To better understand his procrastination, your husband needs to explore its benefits and difficulties.
He might consider listing side-by-side the pros and cons resulting from his procrastinating.
If problems do not outweigh benefits, the chances of him changing are slim.
Procrastinators beat their problem one project at a time. The machine shop could be a great place for him to start. You can remind him that there is no such thing as a good time for him to organize his machine shop. It just has to be done.
That leads to his next step, which is to pick a start date. A number of people procrastinate because they do too much all at once.
They try too hard, create innumerable stresses for themselves, which are uncomfortable, and then avoid the whole thing the next time.
From the start date, your husband will tidy every time he goes into the machine shop and he will do so until one day he makes a final push to finish the job.
As your husband finishes projects, he will feel rewarded. But he will probably need more rewards along the way, including praise from you .
The more you are able to appreciate each step your procrastinator is taking, the more likely it is that he will get done what needs to be done.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@ producer.com.
———
A:
