Q:My friends and I are getting nervous about walking downtown. So many of the young people who are hanging around the convenience store we have to pass are loud and abusive to us that we get scared.
I doubt that any of them would ever hurt an elderly person but sometimes the comments the young people make are disrespectful and we would rather avoid them.
Where is the respect these days? When I was younger, older people were treated with dignity. That does not seem to be the case anymore. Can anyone do anything to teach these young people how to respect their elders?
Read Also
Stock dogs show off herding skills at Ag in Motion
Stock dogs draw a crowd at Ag in Motion. Border collies and other herding breeds are well known for the work they do on the farm.
A:As with any lesson to be taught to young people, the key to respect is found in the home.
Young people learn more from what they see in their families than they do from what their parents tell them.
Young people are more likely to be respectful of others if they are treated with respect in a home where everyone is respected.
The problem is that in many homes, parents not only do not respect their children but also do not respect themselves. Teaching kids to respect others is more difficult when one is not mindful of oneself.
Psychologists tell us that to understand respect, we might take note of the difference between self esteem and self respect.
Self esteem is an exercise in judgment.
People tend to nurture their self esteem when they recognize that something they either do or have is beneficial to others. Their self esteem grows. Unfortunately, this same charge in self esteem often dissipates easily when a person bumps into a few disappointments along the way.
Self respect is the ability to accept oneself for who one is.
None of us can excel at everything, but we can still accept and appreciate ourselves for who we are. We can also tolerate the personal weaknesses that are blended in with our talents.
That is what self respect is all about, and from there blossoms the ability to accept and respect people of different ages, cultures, races and sexual orientation.
I have no doubt that the small group of young people gathering in front of the convenience store has been rude to you and your friends.
However, I don’t think that the kids in that group are representative of young people in general.
Many young people today know themselves for who they are and accept themselves for their strengths and weaknesses.
They also tolerate themselves more, and as result they tolerate peoples of other cultures, races and nationalities more than previous generations did.
To best help those young people who have fallen from the path of self respect, we as a community need to support their parents.
If we can get their moms and dads to find a little more self respect, we will most likely be giving the kids better role models to copy in their own quests for self respect.
We can best help their parents by not being so judgmental toward moms and dads and blaming them for all that goes wrong with their families.
Everyone just needs a little more support for the evolution of respect to be complete.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact:
