Q:I wonder if you could help my husband and me deal with our children when they are home from school during their summer vacations. To be honest, summer turns into a bit of a nightmare around our house. Our children are either bored with themselves or hassling each other.
My husband has put out a fair amount of money to ensure that the kids have computers and ATVs to occupy themselves during the holidays but they are still bored. We have a boy who is 10 years old and a girl who is 11. Both of them are good kids. They just struggle with summer.
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A:One of the great fallacies is that children do not have to do anything during their summer vacations. The only responsibility children can relax during their summer is their commitment to their school work. Everything else is the same and kids need as many if not more responsibilities to make it through July and August.
You and your husband need to take a sheet of paper and clarify what the responsibilities are around the house.
Daily chores like laundry are often taken for granted and not given the attention they deserve. Your shared responsibilities around the house are your first priorities. Pleasing your children comes next.
The second sheet of paper will detail what you and he are going to do with and for your children. Your kids may not need to get up as early in the morning, but they still need regular meal and bed times.
Included in that structure are times when you and your children can have fun together. A few goofy moments do wonders for parent child relationships.
Your kids need specific chores. Children whose self-esteem is high know that they are important to their families and they get that sense of importance by helping to keep the home in order.
The third sheet of paper seeks to avoid the words, “I’m bored”, and outlines goals and dreams and what your children want to do in the summer. Often, parents try to suggest what kids can do, but children should be creative and figure out for themselves what they want to do.
They might need your help figuring out how to make a model airplane or fix a bike. This is when parents can shine, showing the kids what goes where and together making something out of nothing.
Don’t take the power of what they want to do from them. Your three sheets of paper, once completed, could greatly improve your summer.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact:
