Q: My husband and I have just returned from a school meeting with our son’s Grade 2 teacher and the school’s consulting psychologist.
The teacher complained that our son is not settling into his school work and wants to refer him to a physician the school uses to work with kids diagnosed with attention deficit disorder.
We have always thought that our son was a high energy kind of a kid but neither of us thought he might have attention deficit disorder.
This is very upsetting. We do not like what the school is telling us but we also want to do what is best for our boy.
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Do you have any suggestions?
A: For starters, I think you should understand that attention deficit disorder is not a diagnosis that spells doom for your son. Some of the greatest minds of the 20th century, including Thomas Edison, would likely have been diagnosed attention deficit had they attended school in today’s world.
Many kids who have been diagnosed with attention deficit disorders are more aware of their immediate environments than the rest of us.
If your son is truly attention deficit, take a walk with him through the country. He will likely bring to your attention little nuances in the country lane you never dreamed existed.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
I think that it is great that the school has said to you that they would like to work with you to better understand why your son is not more focused in the classroom.
That the school has offered a tentative diagnosis, attention deficit disorder, before everything has been properly assessed, is scary.
Kids get distracted in the classroom for any number of reasons — physical ailments, anxieties, unresolved trauma, family disruption and sometimes just because they find their teachers boring
It is best not to offer a diagnosis until the whole world of the child has been properly explored.
I once worked with a child the school said had attention deficit disorder but who had a serious problem in his digestive tract. It was like having the flu every day for him. Once that was properly diagnosed and treated his problems in the classroom disappeared.
Your best bet is to start the long and enduring process yourself to properly diagnose your son. That starts with a complete physical with your family doctor and if necessary one that is supported by her consulting pediatrician.
If necessary, you can go from there to a child psychiatrist who specializes in attention deficit disorders and perhaps to a neurologist orientated to child development.
This is going to take time and considerable effort but if you can encourage your son’s classroom teacher to be patient while you go through a proper process to get a diagnosis for your son, everybody will benefit in the long run.
The most important person in this process is your son. A diagnosis could have significant impact on his future ventures in the classroom. It’s important to get it right the first time.
In the meantime, I hope that you will continue to love and worship that bundle of energy that has sparked so much enjoyment in your lives.
