I recently spent a weekend at a conference in Regina sponsored by the Canadian Cancer Society that is held for survivors and families of those who have dealt with cancer.
Feeling alone or not in charge of one’s body can be a scary feeling. That is the first feeling many experience when cancer is diagnosed. Those experiencing cancer often feel vulnerable. Because of their fear of losing that person to cancer, family and friends often find it hard to talk about the illness. They may say they are afraid of upsetting the person. They are also afraid of upsetting themselves.
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These anxieties or fears can be eased through sharing and learning from others, whether in a support group or in a telephone call from someone who has personally dealt with the illness.
Information about cancer is available through the Canadian Cancer Society’s toll free line at 888-939-3333. Cancer Connection is a service where a trained survivor is able to share and listen to someone dealing with the illness.
Cancer is a serious disease, but it is not the death sentence it was years ago. It also has a level of uncertainty. Success in combating it is not usually experienced right away. The anxiety about reoccurrence usually continues.
Yet, friends and family often fail to realize this normal ongoing anxiety. Telling someone not to be anxious or not to think of something seldom prevents him or her from doing so. Recognize when someone is going through those years of uncertainty. Let them know it’s not wrong to have those feelings, but with the help of others, the anxiety will lessen in time.
Because of this, cancer survivors often find it hard to feel well when they are well, since they fear the cancer may reoccur.
This can be frustrating when people don’t want to admit the illness to others or themselves. Fear or anxiety can prevent people from seeing their doctor at the first sign of a possible problem, when a thorough investigation may rule out the problem as being cancer.
Many people have shared their experiences and successes in dealing with cancer on the internet. For prostate cancer, look at prostatepointers.com; for breast cancer, www.cwhn.ca/networkreseau/index.html.
Those who are not comfortable with a computer might want to go to the Relay For Life event in their area on June 4, and talk to any of the numerous people who will be wearing yellow T-shirts and walking in the opening ceremony, which is the survivors’ lap. These people are most likely willing to share and listen to the journeys of others.
Peter Griffiths is a mental health counsellor based in Prince Albert, Sask. His columns are intended as general advice only. His website is www3.sk.sympatico.ca/petecope.
