Most people treat their couple relationships as private and personal.
They don’t want to share their pains or problems with others. They don’t want others to see that, like all relationships, theirs isn’t perfect.
The barriers to getting help are these fears of admitting they may need couple counselling, or not knowing how to contact a counsellor.
It is not a sign of failure to see someone about your personal relationship. It is a sign of strength.
Not doing anything about a relationship implies, especially to your partner, that you don’t care about the relationship.
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When a couple sees a counsellor, the counsellor won’t blame one of them or the other. Counsellors are educators and coaches, not judges. The only time they will express concerns or give specific advice is when one person is in an emotional, verbal or physically abusive relationship.
Every relationship has problems and challenges. But healthy relationships realize when they are getting in deep water and reach out for guidance before they get in over their heads.
It is not expensive to get help for a marriage. Many agencies provide services either free or quite reasonably, based on family income. A counselling session often costs no more than going out for dinner and a movie.
Family or marriage counselling is not a long and complicated thing. If a couple or family is open to learn and grow, they can make major progress in a few sessions.
Effective counsellors work with couples as a team. They direct them to resources they can access on their own and often have them do exercises.
This homework helps the couple discover feelings and experiences they brought from the past into their relationship, as well as effective ways to communicate, such as not starting conversations with “you …”
It takes effort to find a good counsellor, but it isn’t difficult.
Many advertise in the yellow pages. A list of qualified counsellors is available from the Saskatchewan Association of Social Workers at 877-517-7279 or sasw@accesscomm.ca. Qualified counsellors are available in many towns, usually within an hour or so travel of most places.
For Manitoba names, phone 204-888-9477, fax 204-889-0021 or email masw@mts.net. In Alberta, contact the Alberta College of Social Workers. Information and guidance about relationships is not hard to find. For people without the internet, many public libraries have public access computers available. My website, listed below, provides directions to other helpful websites and books.
