Q: I am not sure what to do with the old guy around here. A few years ago, our son bought us out so that we could retire from the farm, move into town and relax for a change. But it is not working.
At seeding or harvest and just about any other time of the year, Dad is out there on the farm. He is busy telling our son what to do and just generally driving everyone crazy.
My husband has not quite figured out that farming has changed these past few years and what was relevant and important to him is not likely helpful for our son.
Read Also
New Farm Credit Canada loan option aims to ease farm ownership transfers
Farm Credit Canada’s enhanced transition loan meant to offer better financial terms, flexibility for farm and agribusiness assets changing hands.
I am concerned that my son and my husband are going to end up not talking. What can I do?
A: Your husband is, and will always be a farmer. Thinking otherwise, or not appreciating the strength of his commitment to his land, is simply going to cause problems for all of you.
The implication is that those farming skills your husband picked up over the years will never leave him and even if they cannot be turned loose on the family land, they can be used elsewhere in other times.
Part of the problem, one shared by many farm families, is that you and your husband did not properly anticipate his retirement.
Everyone plans to travel in their retirement but that lasts only a few days or weeks. Retirement lasts for years.
Unless people like your husband set goals and dreams for this part of their lives, they will either fall into serious depression or continue to pester their unsuspecting children, who are otherwise doing their best to run the farm.
Retirement for your husband is not necessarily the end of his time on the farm. It might be the beginning of something new in his life.
Just as he daydreamed as a boy about farming or as a man about the two of you having a family, now it would be better for him to plan a life off the farm.
He needs to daydream a bit and explore opportunities available.
Some neighbours will take up international commitments, taking their farming skills to poor parts of the world. They will work with people there to enhance their productivity.
Others will get involved in community activities, delivering meals, maintaining curling rinks and local golf courses or delve into their own business pursuits and pastimes.
All of this begins with your husband and son. You and your daughter-in-law might need to help them discuss and negotiate what to expect from each other.
If a clear understanding is reached, the son might find his occasional input helpful.
