The rules for driving in winter also apply to people with addiction problems. In both cases the goal is to avoid slips and disastrous results.
Every winter, drivers don’t change their driving habits. The minute I see snow on the road, I adopt defensive driving. Recovering addicts need to use the same defensive approach in everyday life.
If you drive as fast on snowy, icy roads as you do in summer, you end up in trouble. The only way to move a car safely on snow and ice is with caution and at a lower speed.
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Persons with addictions often try to race through recovery as if it was a quick upgrading course. Recovery is not quick. It involves changing the way you think and feel and behave. Recovery must be walked through, not dashed through. Recovery is not drying out – that is detox.
Recovery is getting to know a new self and new ways of coping with that. You don’t change life. You only change yourself. That takes time and patience, things that people with addictions often don’t have too much of. Recovery is slow. It occurs a day at a time, an hour at a time.
Addictive persons must plan in advance. If they look for a quick cure, they head into a quick relapse. They need to look where they are and also where they are going. They need to choose who they associate with. They may need to let go of old friends to live a sober life.
The worst thing when driving on ice or snow is to panic and hit the brake hard. Sudden moves throw a car out of control.
Instead you ease up on the gas and gently steer the car in the right direction.
In a similar manner, addictive persons are prone to panic attacks and overreactions. To maintain sobriety they need to recognize such reactions and let go of them. Their first thought or feeling is not the best one to react to.
They need to take a time out, and back away from the situation, and look at it more objectively, to steer their life in the right direction.
Cell phones are important in winter, particularly when travelling in rural areas. Being able to phone for help can be the difference between life and death in severe weather.
Knowing when to reach out is important for someone with an addiction.
Addicted people often want to see themselves as strong and powerful. They refuse to acknowledge and accept their weaknesses. Addicts are not gods. Unfortunately, they often think that way, particularly when they abuse substances.
I suggest that people with addictions take a quarter, wrap it up in a piece of Kleenex and tuck it into a safe place in their wallet where they won’t spend it. When they feel an urge to drink or do drugs, that quarter can be used to phone someone they know, or to phone the Alcoholics Anonymous answering service number in the phone book.
Living without slipping back into addiction means acting on your skills and knowledge when you face a situation where these are crucial to your well-being and survival.
Peter Griffiths is a mental health counsellor based in Prince Albert, Sask. His columns are intended as general advice only. His website is www3.sk.sympatico.ca/petecope.
