Physical pain from cutting distracts from child’s psychological pain

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Published: February 24, 2011

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Q:I found cuts on my daughter’s arm. At first, she tried to tell me that the cat had scratched her but later she admitted that she had taken a knife and cut herself. I was floored, as was my husband. Our daughter has always been a good kid, has done well in school and been involved in sports and community activities. We have taken our daughter to see a counsellor at the mental health clinic and that has been helpful but we would like more information. Do you know anything about kids cutting themselves?

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A:You and your family have found yourselves caught in an unspoken epidemic threading its way through our communities. It appears to be getting worse each year.

Cutting iinvolves deliberately mutilating the body and inflicting pain.

Young people who are suicidal do not want to live but those who cut are different. Cutters have every intention of living, they just seem to need physical pain to help them deal with the problems they find in their daily activities.

Kids do it discreetly and often their parents do not know. Parents hide their children when they discover it so getting statistics about cutting is difficult.

Researchers studied cutting behaviour in a high school with 440 students. They found that close to 15 percent of the students had engaged in either cutting or some other form of self-mutilation.

Sixty percent of those who harmed themselves were in Grades 8 and 9, 64 percent were girls and 36 percent were boys.

I suspect that these statistics are common to most schools. The logic of cutting is simple. Kids who cut themselves find that the physical pain that they get from cutting distracts them from the psychological pain they pick up living in a world filled with excess stress.

Cutting distracts kids from the pain of competing for grade point averages in success orientated schools and distracts them from the confusion of living in homes and families where parents are unsure of their rights and responsibilities and not providing sufficient guidance.

Cutting distracts kids from the pain of being caught in custody battles where estranged parents are fighting for control of the children and is a preferable option to the pain of loneliness that haunts a classroom in which children are socially ostracized.

The problem with cutting is that it is addictive. Once a child starts, she is likely to continue, even if she is occasionally caught by her parents. Kids who cut should be referred for counselling.

The counsellors need help also. Your community can best help the counsellors by taking cutting out of the closet and dealing with it openly and honestly.

Your community can best help the counsellors by encouraging your schools to stress learning through more than grade point averages, by putting the spirit of fairness in competition and by helping parents build stronger relationships with their children.

Remember, it takes a community to raise a child and ensure that our kids have opportunities for healthy and productive lifestyles.

Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.

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