Q: Our farm is a bit out of the way. That is fine for my husband and me but it may not be so great for our little boy. He is three now and should be spending time with other kids. When he does, he is so shy that he is isolated even in the middle of Sunday school. We would like to do something to help but we are not sure what. Do you have any suggestions?
A: If you can find a preschool program for your son or a day care that he might attend once or twice a week, he will start practising his social skills.
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Don’t be hard on him for being shy. When he is hanging onto you or his dad in a crowd, he is doing more than avoiding other people. He is studying them and figuring things out. You can talk to him about what he sees the other children doing but he must take his own initiative to get involved.
Children who are successful socially usually move into a new group of friends by first watching and learning what they are doing. Once they have that figured out, they can approach with some sense of comfort.
Studies show that children at age three often have some empathy for what is going on emotionally with other children. Empathy, the ability to understand the emotions of other people, is the foundation of all social relationships.
The more he understands and appreciates the feelings of another person, the more likely he will develop a relationship with him.
You can help your son with his development of empathy and his own emotional maturity simply by talking about your feelings and his feelings as much as possible.
The more he is able to do this at home, the more he is likely to mingle successfully with his peer group.
