Q:My wife and I have finally made the big move. We turned our farm over to one of our sons and relocated to a condo in the city. We have a fifth wheel with which we will join some of our friends in Arizona after Christmas. That will be enjoyable.
My problem is that I find myself using all of this free time to wonder if my life has thus far been successful. When I think about it, I get confused. How would I know if the past 62 years on the farm have been worthwhile?
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A:Thinking about your life is useful and considering successes and failures may help you come to terms with your life off the farm.
You only need to consider two things when evaluating whether your life has been successful.
One is biological success.
It is not related to how impressive your house is and is not secured by heightened sexual activity in old age.
Nor does it relate to social status within the community.
Biological success is based on your own survival and the survival of your community, specifically whether you have contributed to the overall survival of our species.
You have survived many decades, probably through some really tough times, and you have left children who are also contributing to their communities and will continue to do so after you have gone.
In other words, you have done all that is genetically expected of you, and you can start to appreciate that as you search for satisfaction by assessing your successes and failures.
Then there is spiritual success.
You have probably not completed your spiritual quest. It is something you will be working on as long as you are alive. It is more difficult to measure and has to do with your ability to find meaning and purpose in the world around you.
Many people look for spiritual success in religion to look beyond their lives and capture the grandeur of the universe. That is spiritual success.
The more that you understand that you are already biologically successful, and that you do not have to worry about either your estate or your social status within your community, and the more that you are able to appreciate the miracle of life, the more you will find success in this, the last stage in your personal growth.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
