Q: Why do so many people seem to be depressed at Christmas time? I always am because I lost several close family members at that time of year. But I have noticed that quite a number of my friends also seem to be stressed out at Christmas.
A: It has long been known to psychologists that Christmas is not a jolly holiday for everyone. This has been named the holiday blues. It is not the same as a major depression that is part of a bipolar disorder, or even SADS, the seasonal affective disorder. The condition is not usually severe enough to affect a person’s sleep or appetite, or cause them to commit suicide, but it can still make for a miserable holiday time.
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One of the main reasons for the holiday blues is the unrealistic expectations placed upon all of us from family members, TV and advertising. The movies have long portrayed Christmas as a time of fantasy and magic. A good example is Miracle on 34th street. All your wishes are supposed to come true, but in reality, they don’t.
Family traditions are supposed to be faithfully adhered to. Many people manage to avoid their families successfully for most of the year, but at Christmas, they are forced to get together with people who may not like them, are critical, or who have a drinking or drug problem.
If a loved family member has died, this will be all the more obvious at Christmas. In fact, many elderly people die around this time of year from colds, flu and pneumonia. Heart attacks are also more common due to activities such as snow shoveling.
Women seem to feel the stress at Christmas time more than men
because they are mainly responsible for shopping, meals, cleaning the house and writing Christmas cards.
What can you do to help lower the stress? Lower your expectations. Do not try to be perfect. Eat and drink in moderation and continue to exercise.
Many families, including my own, have incorporated a long walk after the Christmas dinner into their traditions.
If you are having trouble coping, then ask another family member to wrap presents or help prepare meals.
Clare Rowson is a retired medical doctor living near Belleville, Ont. Her columns are intended for general information only. Individuals are encouraged to also seek the advice of their own doctor regarding medical questions and treatments.
