I was asked to talk to a group of junior high students about alcohol. The teacher was concerned that the youth would fall into a social pattern of drinking parties on the weekend.
This teacher was only present for the first half of my talk, and as she left, she said angrily to the woman who had organized my speaking to the group “he isn’t talking about alcohol and addictions.”
It is true I hadn’t used the word alcohol or addiction up to then. Why? Because I needed to gain trust from the teens by talking about something they were interested in.
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Instead, in the first half hour, I talked about feeling good about oneself, which starts with learning to relax and to focus on good things. They were taught a six-second relaxation exercise, which involves imagining you have holes in the soles of your feet, and as you breathe in, fresh air comes up through your feet, your legs, your torso, and ends up in your head, where it gathers up the dust and flushes it when you exhale.
I showed them how to extend one arm out straight, bend it 90 degrees at the elbow, bend it back to their shoulder, and then connect their hand with the upper part of their back. The idea is that you can’t always rely on others to pat you on the back. You may have to do it yourself.
Only then did I talk about my observations as a counsellor.
Most people who use alcohol in an unhealthy way, drink to try to boost their sense of self-esteem. They didn’t feel good about themselves, and alcohol is the way they try to either overcome shyness or numb the frustrations of life.
If offered alcohol or chemical stimulants, teens should ask themselves these questions.
- Why am I thinking abouttaking this substance?
- What need do I think it is going to meet that I can’t meet for myself in other ways?
- How much do I really know about this substance? Would I take something from a stranger, not knowing how dangerous it might be to me?
- Where can I find some reliable information about this substance, whether on the internet or from someone who is qualified and knows what they are talking about?
- How do I know what the substance really is, and how my body may react to it?
I don’t know how my talk with those students affected them. But because I was willing to share and teach them about themselves first, I hope they will seek information on their own from reliable sources. Personal research teaches more effectively than any lecture.
Peter Griffiths is a mental health counsellor based in Prince Albert, Sask. His columns are intended as general advice only. His website is www3.sk.sympatico.ca/petecope.
