Q: A couple of years ago my mom and dad said they would retire off the farm once our finances started to pick up. I never took them seriously, but now that the markets are starting to improve, they are talking about retiring.
Mom and Dad have spent their entire lives building this farm for us. They had no time to prepare for their retirement. They are not sure what to do now that their time is near. Do you know of any programs that will help them?
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A: Most of the programs designed to help people retire are directed at financial preparation. Some companies and government agencies run their own pre-retirement seminars for employees, but of course those programs are not available to the general public.
The only on-line course that I could find was offered in British Columbia and, as I recall, it was not likely to be useful for people coming off the farm. Your parents are probably going to have to do some planning on their own.
The trick to planning retirement is to pick activities, events and commitments that are going to contribute to a person’s well being. Some are going to be more active than others or may involve other people. Your parents can make sense of all of this by sitting with paper and pencil and drawing four large squares on the paper. Each square will have within it activities that they can join.
One square is a socially active square. In it your parents are going to identify those events that keep them actively involved with their friends and neighbours.
Perhaps they are into golfing or curling or political or social causes. The point is that they are busy doing things and they are doing so with other people.
The second square is also a social category but in it the activities are more sedate. They might sign up for courses from the community college, participate in discussion groups in their church, sit in on coffee row, or meet with any group of people discussing and reflecting on life’s events.
In the third square your parents are going to identify physical activities that they are likely to do alone. This can include evening walks, gardening, time in the workshop or on the treadmill.
The fourth square is where your parents can identify quiet and reflective activities they are likely to do alone: reading and writing, meditating or praying, putting together personal biographies, or just reflecting on the meaning of life.
The extent to which each of the squares is loaded with activities is going to vary from person to person. Everyone has different interests, which means that each of us will put more activities into different squares than others. What is important is that each square has commitments identified.
A plan without a moment for personal reflection included can lead to a retirement filled with anxiety and tensions. A plan without social commitments opens the door to the personal bitterness of aging.
Your parents need to be active, both mentally and physically, and to take control over their lives with events they appreciate.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
