Q: Our home was recently broken into while we were away, and we are still suffering the emotional consequences. I have not slept well since and my husband is more edgy than I have ever seen him. Is there anything that we can do about it?
A: You are right. The real problem with house break-ins is not the loss of goods. It is the emotional quagmire the break-in leaves behind.
Unless the burglars have advanced information about the house they are ransacking, they do not know what they are doing, what they are going to take and where to find it. They have little time to figure it out. Most break-ins last less than 10 minutes.
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During that time, the burglar has to survey the premises, choose what to take and figure a way of getting out without getting caught. With so little time, the burglars are not likely to cart off too many goods.
Of course, once some of your stuff is gone, it is gone for good. The chances of getting the stolen items back are not good. Less than 39 percent of goods taken in house break-ins are recovered and returned to their rightful owners.
Another cost of home break-ins is the loss of emotional stability afterward. A house break-in is a violation of a person’s emotional territory.
Our homes are our castles, and we are the kings and queens. But when someone breaks in, venturing into our private quarters, that control is shaken. Along with it goes a belief in the integrity of the human soul, confidence in ourselves as viable persons, the security and safety of our private lives and a trust in our friends and neighbours.
For most people, the emotional aftermath of a home burglary does not last too long, usually about six weeks.
You can help the healing process by talking about the break-in with your family and close friends. In fact, both you and your husband should talk about it as much as you can. Just make sure that the persons to whom you are talking are caring and listening to you.
If that does not work, if you are still not sleeping or if your husband is still as edgy, then both or either of you might want to talk with a mental health counsellor.
Let’s put the emotional residue from the break-in onto the shelf. Make sure that the house is locked and that your dog is safe so that the two of you can get back into your regular routines.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
