Q. Last week, my niece took me to the hospital and spent the day with me while I had various tests. We were there from early in the morning until later in the afternoon. The hospital staff was kind to me and gave me a sandwich and juice to tide me over. But they gave my niece nothing, even though they insisted that I have either her or someone to attend to me throughout the day.
My niece does a lot for me. She is my caregiver. She is the one who comes over to look after me when I am not feeling well, who helps me get groceries and other things from the store, and who talks to the doctors and nurses to help me understand.
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Don’t you think that the hospital should have given her a sandwich and a box of juice too?
A. I understand that caregivers are as important as medical staff to those who are sick or infirm. I think that you need to appreciate some difficulties hospitals have. Most hospitals run on tight budgets. Every cent spent has to be documented and justified.
It was easy for the staff to justify getting a sandwich for you, but it might have been more difficult for them to do the same for your niece. I do not want you to lose sight of the contributions that your niece and other caregivers make to your well being.
Caregivers are the backbone of our health-care system. Doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, technicians, social workers and psychologists all have their parts to play and they generally play them well, but it is your caregivers who are there, often around the clock.
Few caregivers get paid for the work they do, even if they give up working hours from their jobs to help either friends or family members. Their services are drawn from love and commitment.
Most caregivers do not want to be rewarded for the time and effort they devote to the well being of someone they love. The issue is that caregivers can at times be so committed to their loved ones that they fail to look after themselves. They burn out with exhaustion, disappointment and frustration.
Your caregiver needs time to relax, get involved in hobbies or community activities, have time with friends and family, and get lots of hugs and kisses as thanks for all that she has done for you.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
