Q:My wife and I have a beautiful 15-year-old daughter.
Apart from my obvious bias, we know that other people also find her attractive because of the number of calls she gets from older boys trying to date her, from the rodeo organization asking her to participate on the main float in our annual parade and from various theatre clubs offering her lead roles in community drama.
Our concern is that our daughter is too nave and perhaps too trusting, and I am worried that she may not protect herself from sexual abusers when she eventually moves to the city. What can we do to help our girl learn to protect herself?
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A:Your concerns about your daughter are perfectly valid.
Some statistics on sexual abuse claim one in four women have either been raped or attacked. Thirty-eight percent of the women who report sexual abuse are young girls between 14 and 17. Therefore, your daughter needs to develop safe habits.
Women living in the country are as vulnerable to rape as are those who live in larger cities.
The problem is that we often do not know what is going on in our own communities. About 40 percent of the women who have been sexually abused do not report it.
Your daughter needs to learn to be careful regardless of who she is with or where she is.
Seventy-five to 80 percent of the women who are sexually abused knew their assailants before they were attacked. Fifty seven percent of them were on dates with their attackers. Your daughter should never be alone with anyone other than those who clearly respect her.
To protect herself, your daughter should always be aware of what is going on around her.
She will do better if she leaves a party before drugs and alcohol get out of hand. Seventy-five percent of men guilty of attacking women were taking either drugs or alcohol.
Your daughter and her friends should develop a buddy system to check on one another while at a function. Buddy systems also run interference with isolation. Those who would likely try to abuse your daughter will do what they can to get her away from the heart of the action.
But that will not happen if she and her friends are checking in with each other regularly.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact:
