Q: A short while ago my husband was told by his doctor that he had diabetes. The doctor explained to my husband how much better it is for people with diabetes these days than it was a few years ago. Apparently diabetes does not need to interfere much with his lifestyle. But my husband is still sad. Is there anything that I can do to help him?
A: Your doctor’s explanation was right. Life with diabetes is less difficult today than it used to be. Nonetheless, many of the people thought to have diabetes are still not getting the help that they need. Of the 21 million people in the United States thought to have diabetes, seven million have not been diagnosed and are not getting help for it. In Canada, where we have medicare, the numbers of those not getting help is probably lower, but even here many people are reluctant to see their doctors and are suffering unnecessarily.
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Despite the optimism shared by your husband’s doctor, people who have been recently diagnosed with diabetes still have to make major lifestyle changes. They have to pay more attention to their nutritional habits than they did before they were diagnosed, and they should generally look after themselves better.
Heading to the bar for a beer on Friday nights is not a good idea. Change in our lifestyle brings with it a certain amount of sadness, grieving the loss of doing some things that used to be enjoyed.
Your concern appears to be focused on the sadness, perhaps even depression, your husband is confronting.
We know the relationship between diabetes and personal depression is strong. Research from the University of Alberta tells us that 30 percent of people diagnosed with diabetes had previously been diagnosed with depression.This is more true for younger people, ages 20 to 50 years old, than it is for people who are older than 50 when they are diagnosed.
If your husband is showing signs of depression, which include excessive sadness, anxiety, social withdrawal, the loss of self worth, fatigue or morbid thoughts of death, he should report them to his physician. His doctor can prescribe medication that will relieve him of the depression without interfering with his treatment for the diabetes. His doctor can also refer him for personal counselling, which gives him an opportunity to explore his new realities.
Support and encourage your husband and listen to him as he travels through this personal crisis in his life. The goal is to help your husband renew a sense of productivity that is fundamental to maintaining his sense of dignity.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
