Q: I am not sure what to do about my mom. Once again she is slipping into the closet and being absolutely miserable to cap off the holiday season. This happens at about the same time every year. She gets depressed. This goes on for two or three months, then when we are finally able to convince Mom to see a physician she perks up, gets into spring planting and sheds those depressing and discouraging thoughts. I am sure that all of us could handle these mood swings if that is all that they were but always at the bottom of her most depressing moments are some relentless suicidal thoughts. She hints at suicide enough to scare us and apparently she has some kind of a plan should she ever decide to follow through. That scares me. What can we do?
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A: It seems that every year I am asked to write about seasonal affective disorder. That certainly is a possibility for your mom.
Suicidal thoughts and plans are frightening for all of us. You and other family members need to make a significant effort to get your mother to the doctor as soon as possible. This is not a time to be overly sensitive or gentle.
Only he and the mental health services team can determine whether or not your mother has SAD and then outline a treatment program for her.
It is built on four support systems. The first is pharmaceutical. Medications can help people inhibit some of their more depressing thoughts.
Your mom needs to commit to taking her medication regularly and not drink alcoholic beverages while being medicated.
The second pillar for your mom is talk therapy. She will be assigned a counsellor to help her work through the more depressing thoughts.
The third support may be light therapy.
Used only on the recommendation of her mental health team, light therapy uses light to help modify some of your mom’s depressing thoughts.
Finally your mom probably needs to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. She is getting neither when she is withdrawing to her bedroom.
Women living in northern climates are eight times more likely to get SAD than men.
Women are also more inclined to withdraw to their homes when it’s cold outside and are less likely to get outdoors.
Please remember that your mom has an illness. I have no doubt that helping her when she is as depressed as she gets can be frustrating for all of you but she still needs more love and encouragement than she does impatience.
