Q: Our son is home now. He left us a little over three years ago to work in the oil patch. Of course, the oil patch is pretty slow at the moment and any chance of work there for our son is, at best, remote.
He came back to the farm a couple of months ago and is trying to get work. He calls his old company regularly but always gets the same discouraging response.
My husband and I have paid off the money owing on his truck and we get him to help out a bit around the yard, but we are not big farmers and we do not have money on hand to pay him for farm labour.
Read Also
Nutritious pork packed with vitamins, essential minerals
Recipes for pork
The truth is our son is not doing much. We know that is not healthy for him, but neither of us knows what to do about it.
How do you get a 21-year-old man motivated when he is used to having more money than most of us can imagine?
A: I have no doubt that many people who work in the oil patch are happy to wait out this latest recession until the price of oil rebounds. These people will be fine.
I also know that a number of people working in the oil patch making big dollars live a life of luxury. Those are the ones who are in trouble. They are not likely to get their big paycheques anywhere else and they cannot afford the lifestyle to which they aspire.
Some are lucky, such as your son, and are able to get some support from their families to carry them through difficult times.
Others are out of luck. They will have to retreat to a lifestyle that may be more affordable.
The problem with the oil patch over the years is that it has distracted too many young people and taken them to the land of exuberance.
Life goals are important, more important than huge paycheques. It is through the pursuit of life goals that young people land into the positives of self-esteem, self-efficacy and self-confidence.
It is through the pursuit of life goals that young people get some sense of purpose to their well-being. It is through the pursuit of life goals that young people find the energy to get off the couch and commit to their communities.
I suspect that you can best help your son by getting him to remember some of the dreams he had before he went to the oil patch. Maybe he needs to check out those dreams.
If they are academic, he can find a way to go to university. If his dreams are more technical, he can look at some of the opportunities waiting for him in the trade schools.
Maybe he just needs to get a job in which he feels good, even if the money is not all that great.
The truth is that the setback in the oil patch is an opportunity your son can use to redefine who and what he is. Wouldn’t that be a great thing for him to do while he has some time with Mom and Dad at home.
Talk to your son. Encourage him. And most of all, don’t let him off the hook for rediscovering that wonderful person inside of himself.
