Q: I am excited that my grandniece is getting married, but I worry about her. So many marriages end in divorce and so many people are getting hurt and angry, I wonder if it is worth it. My niece has a good job, she is vice-principal of our elementary school. I hate to see her give give up her career to marry only to find that her marriage will fail and she will end up with nothing. What do you think?A: While it is true that divorce is more prevalent in today’s world than it was when you were younger, some of the statistics being cited about divorce are misleading. The popular notion that about 50 percent of all marriages will end up in divorce is wrong. The more accurate figure is that the divorce rate hovers around 30 percent.Statistics Canada researchers say that in 2002 about 84 percent of all Canadian families were headed by married couples. Despite the divorce rate, the traditional family in Canada, with mom and dad and the kids, remains popular. Common-law relationships are more common than they used to be, at about 14 percent of Canadian households.There is a change in the ages when people are getting married. In 2000, the average age was 31.7 years old for first time brides, 34.3 years for grooms. Twenty years earlier, it was 25.9 and 28.5.In practical terms, it means that many men and women have settled into their careers by the time they are married and most are not likely to give them up. Your niece will probably continue working in her school and she is not going to quit or move unless she and her husband are able to negotiate opportunities that are satisfying to both of them.The changes in married life can be exciting for both your niece and her fiancé. Each of them will have more opportunities to pursue their individual and personal careers and interests than their grandparents had and to lead more satisfying lives. The more satisfying their personal lives are, the more exciting their lives together will be.Today’s successful marriage depends on negotiation and compromise. Husbands and wives have to decide who is going to cook tonight, who is going to take a child to the ball game and what they are going to do about laundry, dirty dishes and monthly bills.They have to talk to each other, and maybe through those talks, your niece and her future husband will build a more satisfying and lasting relationship. You have every reason to be excited about their marriage.
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