This question is answered by both our coping and law columnist.
Q: This is my second marriage. My husband’s first wife died. I divorced mine because of infidelity. My second husband, “John,” and I were raised in the same district and knew about each other’s lives. We married more out of need than love. He had two of his children still at home, I had one of mine.
I had received an inheritance from my mother, which may be partly why he married me, since I had my own spending money. I agreed with him that he wouldn’t have to support my son, and whatever gifts I gave my own children would be from my money. After we married, I made the statement that a wife was entitled to half of the estate. That was the beginning of a stormy marriage.
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He gave me the choice of signing a contract forfeiting my rights to any of his estate or getting out. I know I should have had the guts to get out, but one failed marriage plays havoc on a woman’s mind. I didn’t want the shame of another divorce when the marriage had hardly started. He promised to cancel this contract I had to sign if the marriage worked out. He hasn’t done that.
His sons have power of attorney and I worry what might happen if he had a stroke or something and they refused to give me anything to live on.
I received no money from John for the first 10 years. Then I discovered other wives received allowances from their husbands and that I should too. Just before this we had a nasty fight and I left.
But he dictated my every move. He came for me and promised he would straighten things out. I did come back, but before we worked anything out money-wise.
Spousal allowance
He went to his accountant and was told a minimum annual figure for a spouse allowance was $5,000. That’s what goes in the books for income tax, but I only get to keep $2,000 and have to give him back $3,000. Yet, I have to pay income tax on the $5,000. I get no money for household expenses. He gives me a cheque for groceries, which he oversees. I now get old age pension, which gives me a little freedom.
My question is, on his death, can I break that contract, due to the fact that he has only left me $15,000 in his will? The boys get his land, which is only fair, but shouldn’t I get what cash is left? He only had $10,000 in the bank when we married more than 20 years ago.
John won’t talk about these things with me. He refuses to go for counseling. I’ve paid quite a bit of money to get advice from lawyers, but they haven’t helped at all.
