Q: My daughter is 17 and in Grade 12. She recently broke up with her boyfriend. He won’t take no for an answer. He keeps phoning and hanging around her in town, and drives by the farm constantly. She’s starting to get scared of him and his comments. Can she do anything?
A: Harassment and intimidation are harmful. This situation is a type of abuse and abusive behaviour needs to be stopped.
If the harassment is frequent, the offender may be committing an offence under the Criminal Code of Canada. If this person is making your daughter fear for her safety by following her repeatedly, visiting, phoning or writing to her repeatedly, constantly driving by or watching her home, school or place of work, or outright threatening her or others, then this may be criminal harassment.
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The police should be involved as soon as this conduct starts. You should keep track of how often he is near your daughter and report the dates, times and places to the police. If phone messages or notes are kept, give them to the police. Indecent or overly frequent phone calls are treated as harassment. Sometimes the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend seeks attention and will falsely say that someone close to you has been hurt or killed. It is a criminal offence to do this, and two years of jail is a possible sentence.
It is enough if your daughter feels threatened. It doesn’t matter if the boy actually intends to cause her harm, and she doesn’t have to wait until she is actually harmed or injured to involve the authorities. Courts are treating these situations seriously and jail sentences of up to five years are possible.
If these cases are not nipped in the bud, they can escalate. Some people resort to outright intimidation such as, “go out with me or I’ll hurt you or your family.” This is more common than you might think. This is also reportable to the police, with jail, fines, probation and weapons possession prohibitions being possible.
If there is a direct threat of death or injury to your daughter, her family, her property or even her pet, that can also result in a threats charge and a jail sentence of up to two years.
If charges are brought, remember it is not you or your daughter who can say they will or won’t proceed. That is the decision of the crown prosecutor. Provincial justice officials take these domestic situations seriously and are reluctant to drop such charges after they are laid. If there are charges, your daughter will likely have to testify in court. The prosecutor will help her prepare and most provinces have victim assistance programs to help her get through the process.
In addition to involving the police, consider some self-help mechanisms. Have your daughter go to and from destinations accompanied by someone else. She should avoid staying at home alone. She should definitely avoid meeting with him or being alone with him.
Finally, you may want to get some professional help for your daughter. She is not to blame for this but victims often have trouble coping with the fear and feelings of guilt and shame. A counsellor can assist in ensuring the damage from this experience is kept to a minimum. And, as always, family and friends can play a significant supporting role in helping a loved one deal with this ugly situation.
Rick Danyliuk is a practising lawyer in Saskatoon with McDougall Gauley LLP. He also has experience in teaching and writing about legal issues. His columns are intended as general advice only. Individuals are encouraged to seek other opinions and/or personal counsel when dealing with legal matters.
