Q: My mom has been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s disease. I am frightened because she lives by herself in a little house. When I try to talk to my brothers and sisters about getting her into a senior’s care home, they refuse to listen. All of my siblings left our town years ago. They get home for the occasional visit but they seldom spend much time with Mom and they certainly have no idea what is going on with her. They do not understand how much care she needs. What can I do about that?
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A: Alzheimer’s disease is one of the most difficult disabilities confronting our senior’s population. More than half a million Canadians have already been diagnosed and those numbers are steadily growing. One out of every 11 seniors has Alzheimer’s disease and three-quarters of them are women.
Researchers tell us that the result of Alzheimer’s disease is a gradual reduction in the size of the brain. But they are not able to tell us why the brain shrinks, nor have they been able to find a cure.
Alzheimer’s is a progressive disability. It begins with some simple memory loss and personal confusion and gradually, over the years, progresses until people with it will not be able to tend to their own needs or recognize or recall those people close to them.
Your mom’s doctor may be able to slow progress of the disease and help those parts of her neurological system that continue to function by prescribing medication that would enable her to enjoy the present more.
In some ways you are in a fortunate position. You probably see your mom almost daily and you understand the problem Alzheimer’s is causing her.
Your brothers and sisters are likely in denial. That is our usual response when we hear bad news about someone whom we love.
Denial is one stage in the progression of a grieving response to the difficult news about your mom. Eventually your siblings will start to accept and understand how hard life is for her.
What you have to judge, in the meantime, is how capable your mom is to be on her own.
If you believe that she is now incapable of living by herself, and you seem to be leaning in that direction, you should consult with health-care professionals serving your area. They can give you and your mom the support you need as she makes the transition from her own home to a care facility. The dissension you are anticipating from your brothers and sisters will fade as they begin to understand how serious her condition is.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
