The declining health of an aging parent and the additional responsibilities it may bring is something almost all of us will deal with.
Declining health may happen gradually, or suddenly because of a stroke, heart attack or fall. But whenever it happens, we likely won’t be prepared for it, and will feel overwhelmed and helpless.
In his new book, Precious Days and Practical Love Ð Caring For Your Aging Parent, (Northstone Books, $19.95,) James Taylor shares his experience of dealing with the decline of his
father, who died in 1998 at the age of 93. With compassion and sensitivity, he passes on knowledge that he and others have learned the hard away.
Read Also
Well-being improvement can pay off for farms
Investing in wellness programs in a tight labour market can help farms recruit and retain employees
Taylor had just arrived in Fort Qu’Appelle, Sask., on Aug 16, 1998, to lead a writer’s workshop that I was to attend when he
received the call that his father had died. I was fortunate to get to know Taylor a year later when he returned to do the postponed workshop. Besides being a skilled writer and helpful editor, he
has a strong compassion for
people, which was evident at the workshop and throughout his book.
Taylor doesn’t try to apply a formula or theory about coping with parents’ failing capabilities and eventual dependency on their children.
Instead, he shares his own emotional journey. He also includes pieces of other people’s journeys, as well as practical information about housing and accommodation, dealing with banks, power of attorney and estate planning.
Taylor points out that caring for a declining parent is usually a first-time experience.
“As a child, you don’t get a dress rehearsal,” he says.
Learning experience
It is often surprising to discover how needy parent have become. When both parents are living, the more capable one covers for the other. Children don’t learn the truth about how much care and help is needed by the surviving parent until the first one dies. We don’t learn in advance what to do and are forced to stumble our way through it. Taylor’s book is a helpful guide.
I have read many books on aging and bereavement. I have dealt with a lot of people experiencing what Taylor did. I have never read a book that combines such an insightful sharing of facts and feelings. I recommend this book to anyone who has aging parents, whether they have started to decline or not, and for anyone who works with the elderly.
