Keith Dryden

Map technology Atlas printers will be scrambling to change gears as a result of Laurent Kabila’s takeover in Zaire, uh, The People’s Republic of Congo. Map printing has been a major industry as emerging countries around the world change their names and, sometimes, the names of their major cities. In colonial days it was customary […] Read more

The quintet We Canadians have opted for a goulash of a government and that may turn out to be exactly what we need. When power is given to some individual or group there always have to be what political scientists call checks and balances. The drafters of the British North America Act assumed this set […] Read more

Turning them off Sir Henry Gilbert told us: “A policeman’s lot is not a happy one.” From what I’ve heard from Western Producer readers, telemarketers too must find life wearing at times. In our May 15 issue I asked subscribers to write in and tell how they deal with salespersons who ring our phones just […] Read more

Dandelions rising There is a day coming when dandelions may be the principal vegetation left for us. These deep-rooted plants with the bright yellow flowers have successfully withstood all of our efforts to do them in. Just when you think you have them under control another bit of dandelion fluff blows in on the wind […] Read more

Ed and the cow It was amusing to read about the Western Producer photographer who stood too close to the wrong end of a Holstein when attempting to take a picture of a nearby politician. Cows are not that fastidious about anyone who may be passing by when nature calls. This can be particularly perilous […] Read more

Cloning Nevada The state of Nevada once had the tradition of being the sin capital of North America, where people went to consort with one-armed bandits or to obtain quickie divorces. Nevadans did not pay state income taxes thanks to gambling money flowing in from visitors from Saskatoon, Sherwood Park and Stonewall, among thousands of […] Read more

The topless job In Belleville, Ont., an 85-year-old woman and her 66-year-old daughter applied for jobs at a bar that was advertising for waitresses who were prepared to work garmentless above the waist. Their applications were designed as a protest against exploitation of women. Here on the Prairies we’re getting all exercised about young men […] Read more

The early birds France’s president, Jacques Chirac, like Canada’s prime minister, Jean ChrŽtien, has called an early election for this spring. In France’s case, it comes 11 months before a vote would have been required. Canada’s comes 17 months before the October 1998 deadline. Chirac says he wants “a majority with the strength and longevity […] Read more

Tell me how “And how are you?” This is the trademark opener of the telemarketer, whether he or she wants you to change your telephone company or donate to the Suffering Cats Society. My temptation is to tell the caller at some length all the details of the state of my health. After all, that […] Read more

Scare-mongering Statistics Canada says that you and I eat an average of 1.1 dozen eggs a month, or 14 dozen a year.This is a decline from the 19 dozen in 1975 when we did not worry so much about cholesterol and heart disease. Actually, I think a lot of ailments are caused by people worrying […] Read more