Q:My wife’s brother was told by the cancer clinic that he had several tumours growing throughout his body. I cannot remember what they called his cancer, but I know they said that he is likely to die soon. The news came as a complete surprise to us.
My brother-in-law does not look sick, he has never complained about anything and he has been busy planning this year’s crop. But he is not well and obviously both my wife and I want to help him. We are not sure where to begin.
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A:I hope that through this difficult time for your family that you are able to appreciate the medical system that is available to help him through his illness.
Well wishers may encourage you and your family to drop out of standard treatment programs and explore alternate forms of medicine.
The problem is that not only does alternate medicine seldom work, it could take your brother-in-law away from those who are likely to help him the most, namely those on the treatment team in the cancer clinic.
You can help your brother-in-law by encouraging him to attend to his appointments and follow the advice given to him while he is there.
Psycho-oncology recognizes cancer as more than a physical or biological illness. It explores the emotional, social, psychological and spiritual parts of cancer.
It means that our medical teams are beginning to understand that cancer is more than an illness. It is a disease that can interfere with the joys of daily living and may be influenced by the psychological well-being of the patients. This is where you may help your brother-in-law, encouraging him to work through his emotional well-being.
Dying is not reserved for a select few. Understanding that the process of dying is an integral part of living and that fears and trepidations are shared by all of us will help you and your brother-in-law appreciate what is significant about daily living.
Poets and philosophers have been telling us for years that we best prepare for death and dying through the magic of what is happening now.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com .
