Q: All that my wife wants to do with me these days is hold hands. I don’t mind holding her hand when we are out in public but when we are home alone, I keep hoping for something more exciting to do with her. Most of the time she is not interested. I love my wife and I believe that she loves me. I would like to know what I can do so that she will show me that love more openly.A: People of all ages have satisfying sexual relations, but it is not the only way of sharing intimacy.Some people share their love by holding hands, others by having fun and playing together. Some sit in the combine at harvest time, some people watch movies while others watch the stars on a clear summer’s night.Intimacy comes in many forms and springs from loving and respectful relationships.You can always learn something new about your wife, just as she can learn something new about you. People get along better when they respect and appreciate each other. If she has made supper, tell her how much you appreciate the time and effort she put into making an enjoyable meal. If she is taking you to the doctor when you don’t want to go, thank her for caring enough to look after you. When she wants to hold your hand, recognize the love and security she is giving you.We can better predict whether a marriage will be successful by watching the way people look at each other rather than talking to them about their sexual relations.The more you work with your wife toward a more respectful relationship, the more likely it is that your sexual relations will improve.Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
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