Q: I am in big trouble. My son’s hockey team had a tournament Valentine’s Day and I forgot to do something special for the Mrs. She is pretty cranky and I do not blame her, but I am not sure sending her a belated bouquet of flowers is going to do much to get me out of the dog house. What should I do?
A: Do something out of the ordinary. Hockey might be Canada’s national sport but even hockey moms expect more than a cheeseburger in a skating rink on Valentine’s Day.
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Valentine’s Day is historically packed full of extraordinary commitments. The story is that Valentine’s Day started about 1,800 years ago when St. Valentine, then a monk, defied a creed issued by Claudius II forbidding marriages between men and women. Claudius believed single men made better soldiers than married men. He hoped to strengthen his army by forbidding marriage and he arrested St. Valentine for defying the order to sanctify intimate relationships for young couples. Once in prison, St Valentine worked with the jailor’s daughter. She was visually impaired and St. Valentine, through his faith perhaps, cured the girl or helped her get around better.
That was enough to create a strong bond between them. Just before St. Valentine was executed, he sat down and sent the girl a note and signed it “from your Valentine.”
Sit down with pen and paper and jot down what you appreciate about your wife and then share it with her. Recall the adventures you have enjoyed together and plan more in the future. Remember the Valentine in your life is not a card or present. Your Valentine is your commitment to the relationship with your partner.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor +from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
