Q: I have a horrible fear of public speaking. The other day I was asked to read a passage from the Bible during Sunday’s service. I was so tense the night before that I hardly got any sleep. During the service my left hand was shaking and I could barely read the scriptures. What do you suggest that I do?
A: You are experiencing what some people call meta fear. What this means is that you are afraid of being afraid. You are afraid that once you get to the pulpit you will get so nervous you will not be able to do a good job.
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The question you have to ask yourself is whether it is all right to be nervous. The answer is a resounding yes. You do not need to be afraid of being nervous. Your minister speaks from the pulpit on most Sundays of the year. One would expect him to be comfortable doing so. But you are only up there once in a long while at best. Of course you are not going to be comfortable. Why should you be?
The next question is how to deal with your fears. All of us have been taught to deny fear. We have been told that being afraid is silly, and we try to pretend that it is not happening. But being afraid is not silly. Fear is a natural and normal response when we are not sure of ourselves. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with our fears.
- Practice helps. You can practise reading passages from the Bible aloud to your family, or in front of a mirror, before you go to the church. The more you read,
the more familiar and comfortable you will become with what you are reading, and the less likely you will be as uncomfortable doing so in public.
- Deep breathing helps. The more you breathe deep down inside your stomach, the less likely that your stomach will be tense, and it is the stomach, often as not, where our fears and tensions reside.
- Set realistic expectations. You are not going to be as eloquent as your minister so why would you try to be? You might make some mistakes, but no one is going to be too upset if you pause and correct yourself. You are just another person and you have all of the freedom in the world to correct yourself when you slip up every now and then.
I am, of course, not just talking about reading the Bible. I am talking about life. If we do not give ourselves the freedom to make mistakes in whatever it is that we try to do, how are we going to learn from our errors?
Good luck reading your Bible, and good luck setting expectations for yourself that are within the realm of reason.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
