Having a prized possession taken away is one kind of suffering.
When the thing that is lost is control over your body’s movements, it’s hard to imagine the impact.
For a competitive athlete like Karen Doell, being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease meant that the main source of her pride in life, her sports ability, was threatened.
“Being able to focus and play a sport well was always my main goal,” she said.
“The movements of my body and the ability to control them were the core of my enjoyment in life.”
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The physiotherapist and former softball player, who along with her teammates represented Canada in the Atlanta Olympics in 1996, recalled how her life changed one day, sitting in a doctor’s office.
Speaking at the Manitoba Farm Women’s Conference last week, Doell told how life threw her a curve ball in May 2002, when she found out at age 36 that the explanation for the strange twitchiness in her hands was Parkinson’s disease. At first she reacted with disbelief, since the debilitating disease causing tremours and rigidity mainly affects the elderly.
“I thought my life was over. But on the contrary, a new life began for me.”
After the first diagnosis, she went for a second opinion. This time, she noticed that she felt relief at hearing the initial explanation confirmed.
“It’s kind of funny that within a week, I could hear the same news from another neurologist and want to jump up and give him a big hug and a kiss,” said Doell.
“My attitude did a complete flip-flop. I had thought about all the other things that I could possibly have, such as ALS, or a brain tumour. It seemed to be a more manageable thing.”
Once she got over her initial fears that her life might be shorter than she expected, or that she might have to change careers or stop working entirely, the disease gave her a new outlook on life, she said.
Doell still worries about mundane issues, such as whether she has enough disability insurance to cover her needs for the rest of her life, but her focus has shifted to larger concerns.
“I still fear all of those things, but I feel that I don’t have time to dwell on all that is surely on my horizon,” she said. “I have a life to live right now.”
As a physiotherapist, Doell is aware of how Parkinson’s affects its victims, especially later in life.
However, she still holds out hope that future research might offer her and others a better quality of life, or even a cure.
“One of the biggest things is accepting the fact that I’m not the athlete that I once was, and to learn to laugh about it. That’s been especially difficult.”
Apart from participating in fundraising efforts for Parkinson’s, Doell keeps busy with a long list of activities, including hockey, golf, coaching and playing bass guitar and singing in a band.
“I just want to make sure that I enjoy all that I can do while I can still do it,” she said.
Doell recalled unexpected words of wisdom on the day of her diagnosis, from her brother, who helped put it into perspective.
“He said, ‘This is your thing. This is the thing that you have to bear and cope with. None of us gets by without something afflicting us. If they haven’t already, they’ll probably get one sometime in the future.’
“That statement made things so simple for me. I’m no different from anyone else. In fact, it could have been so much worse, so I’m thankful for all that I have.”
