Who can help but forgive flocks of geese, congregating as they will, to remind us that another year is sifting to an end.
The harvest is done and for a brief period of time, whether or not yields from this year’s crops are satisfactory and whether the grades and prices are good are secondary to the sense of ease that pervades the family home. Everyone is more relaxed. We can celebrate.
Our families are once again im-portant, and so we forget the hurts and pains, the strains and stresses and the impatience with each other that sometimes occur when things go wrong during the harvest. Inevitably they will. What else can be expected when people are working with too little sleep and feeling too much anxiety?
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Most of the couples I know have strategies to help them recover from some of the harsh words they might have said during harvest.
Some of the strategies are extravagant. They go on long flights where Mom and Dad try to rediscover their marriages in the luxury of all inclusive retreats. Other strategies involve spending private moments at home nurturing each other.
The key to a successful post-harvest time is to recall the fondness that each of us cherishes in our intimate relationships. The irony is that a few moments together are more important than the luxury in hotels.
Research tells us that good relationships are built on the ability of the participants to acknowledge how important each person is to each other. These are simple tasks. When something is said to you, irrespective of what it is, you stop what you are doing and acknowledge it. When something is done for you, no matter how slight, you say thank you.
Each intimate relationship has its own personal history. Who can forget those first dates? Some people I know can recall where they went on those all important encounters, who was wearing what, and what it was that made that evening special.
Sharing the memories with each other, no matter how often, adds strength to the intimacy we enjoy today.
The point is that the harvest is not done once the grain is in the bin. It is not done until the important relationships in our lives have been renewed. It is not done until the love in our hearts is harvested.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor, living and working in west-central Saskatchewan who has taught social work for two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
