By Jacklin Andrews
Q: I think I am married to the most wonderful man in the world.
What I love most about him is that he is letting me become the person I have for so long wanted to be.
All of this started when I was just a little girl, following my father around the farmyard, hopping in and out of tractors, lounging in our grain truck and hanging out in the tool shed.
I wanted to become a truck driver. Unfortunately, as luck would have it, I was one of those gifted kids.
Read Also
Farm transition plans provide clarity
A farm transition plan can provide security, clarity and peace of mind for everyone involved, said Trevor McLean, the national leader of MNP’s TransitionSmart program.
Everyone, in both my family and in my school, expected me to pursue an academic career.
I tried and picked up a scholarship and went off to university. My marks there were also pretty good, but my heart was not into it. I quit after second year and sat in the abyss of depression for a couple years back on the farm.
Eventually, I picked up a job, a husband and later a small family. All of that was good. But the real treat in my life was when my husband said to me that if we played our cards right, I could get my class A for driving truck and that would be just the start toward getting my own rig.
Wow. After all of those years of frustration and disappointment, the dream was finally happening. The dealer delivered my truck to me last Thursday. This is great. I am a truck driver.
I have already got a couple of loads booked to the grain terminal, and of course we are expecting a lot more very soon.
I wanted to share this with you because I know that you hear very often about marriages that are not living up to their promises and about many of those that are likely to fall apart.
This is the other end of the scale. Mine is a marriage that is working. My husband and I are committed to each other and even though we are two different people pursuing two different dreams, we know that we can always count on each other to see us through whatever challenges are there for us and our children. Could you ask for anything more?
A: What a wonderful story you have to tell. The world is changing and you are changing with it, bringing with you a whole new set of expectations embedded into either marriage or any other form of long-term relationship.
Years ago, when my grandparents married, or even when my parents hooked up, marriage was some kind of an economic unit. Grandpa was out in the field doing what he could to bring in a crop while Grandma was in the kitchen putting together all kinds of nutrients to make sure that the old guy was still able to do what needed doing.
They were a team. Grandma was not above starting up the tractor in the busy season but that was not her primary job. She was supposed to feed him and the kids, dress all of them and deliver a potato salad to the church to keep the family in good favour with the congregation when special events were being celebrated.
The team worked because Grandma and Grandpa did what they were supposed to do. And that might have been fine, except that no one asked them what they wanted to do.
Maybe Grandpa did not want to be out in the fields, and maybe Grandma did not want to be in the kitchen. It did not matter. They could only do what was expected of them.
That is not true in today’s world. Today, people are searching for what they want to do and building marriages and relationships that are encouraging all of those involved to actuate their potentials.
That in itself has its own set of problems. Often as not, people are just a little bit confused about what it is that they would like to do, but for those who know themselves to be who they are, such as you do and as you did when you were just a little girl tossing about your dad’s grain truck, this is great.
Good for you and good for your husband for giving each other the support you need to keep your lives stepping forward.
