It has been almost 11 months since the story appeared. Eleven tortuous
months with that story sitting in a file folder, silently worrying this
columnist like a cow worries a salt lick.
“Attractiveness peaks at age 38, survey reports.”
That was the annoying headline.
Well, let’s not be coy. Some of us will not see 38 again. But does that
mean we’ve peaked? Surely not. Let’s examine the evidence.
Thirty-eight years takes us back to 1964. Martin Luther King Jr. wins
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Nobel Peace Prize… Beatles appear on Ed Sullivan… Northern Dancer
wins Kentucky Derby… top television shows include Walt Disney,
Beverly Hillbillies and Gilligan’s Island. (Wait a minute, you can
still watch all those shows, on Sundays and on late-night cable!) …
Bob Dylan, Beach Boys, Rolling Stones on tour (and still on tour!)
Drat, this research is not going the way we had hoped.
On to movies, then. Top box-office draws in 1964: Goldfinger, Mary
Poppins, My Fair Lady, The Pink Panther – all of which remain
attractive today. One might even say they’re reaching their peak in
terms of nostalgic entertainment. Darn.
OK, let’s regroup. The article was actually talking about people and
physical attractiveness. There must be scores of people who aren’t that
attractive despite reaching the “ripe old age” of 38.
Checking the celebrity list, we have Rob Lowe. Elle McPherson. Russell
Crowe. Sandra Bullock. Nicholas Cage. Keanu Reeves. Ack!
Says the story that started this madness: “The finding that 38 was the
age of peak physical attractiveness did not surprise those in the
beauty industry. Confidence and character, which both come with age,
are the traits that increase sexuality, they said.”
Fortunately, the story also has this to say: “Even as you age, you are
always good-looking to someone, claims the new research.”
There you have it. Evidence refuting this study is right under our
noses. Because in a few week’s time, The Western Producer turns 80
years old. And it’s still pretty good-looking from our point of view.
Yes, our noble newspaper is grey in places, but that’s all right – it
has always been grey! As for confidence and character, this newspaper
and its readers are full of it.
Yup, the Producer will be 80 and the Pillsbury Doughboy will be 38.
That nasty story can now be put to rest.
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