When it comes to Christmas shopping, there’s no lack of gift ideas for farmers. Trouble is, a lot of the stuff on their wish lists is expensive.
New tractor, 400 litres of herbicide, more rainfall next year, all-expenses-paid retirement home for the cull cows, another hired hand, an accountant to figure out the forms for the Canadian Agricultural Income Stabilization Program – none of these things comes cheap.
But an unsolicited holiday-season e-mail message yielded up an idea for one commonly desired farmer item: the wish for a little bit more land.
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“This Christmas get them something out of this world!” the message said. “One acre of moon land for only $29.95.”
Lunar land has actually been for sale (and by more than one seller) for more than 20 years and about 300 million acres of it have already been sold. Don’t bother getting out the calculator. It works out to almost $9 billion in somebody’s pocket.
Makes you wonder who’s really getting the gift, doesn’t it?
But before you conclude that P.T. Barnum was right and there really IS a sucker born every minute, stop and think about how suitable this gift could be for the farmer on your Christmas list.
1. Instead of farming in “next year country,” your gift recipient could farm in “next light year country.”
2. Farming in the Sea of Tranquility would probably be less stressful than farming in the sea of futility here on Earth.
3. The lunar acre comes with mineral rights. Who knows?
4. If your prairie-dwelling gift recipient has been farming for at least five years, he already has experience farming in drought conditions similar to those on the moon.
5. If the moon really is made of green cheese, your recipient might be able to realize some return through Canada’s supply management system.
6. If the purchased acre is on the dark side of the moon, your giftee may be able to explore the birthplace of the agricultural policy framework.
7. The recipient will easily be able to keep an eye on the property, at least on clear nights.
8. It’s about the same price as ocean-front property in Saskatchewan. But remember that deal on swampland in Florida? That’s where Disneyworld sits now.
9. Hey, weren’t we talking earlier about a retirement home for cull cows?
10. It’s a heck of a commute but what a beautiful drive it would be.
