A visit from Santaclief
‘Twas two days before Christmas and all through the land
Some farmers were worried about cash on hand.
The fields were all snuggled in blankets of snow, awaiting the following season to grow.
The ranchers with cattle, and farmers with hogs
Had just settled down for expensive eggnogs.
But the ones who grew grain were feeling so blue
As they surveyed their desks with bills coming due.
The holiday season was welcome, yet grim
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Their cups were half empty, not filled to the brim.
Their profits, how few! Their inputs, how many! Can one seed a crop without spending a penny?
But then what to their wondering eyes did appear
But a Western Producer; the story was clear.
It had many words but got straight to the point: More money would come, the feds would anoint.
The farmers were feeling a vague sense of grief. They knew in a moment the source was Vanclief.
His plan was red ink, from its top to its toe,
And in its fine print was cash from Romanow.
Those farmers need help, he was quoted as saying.
“They tell me there’s no way the bills they’ll be paying.
At the end of their patience, the end of their rope, we’ll have to make sure that these farmers can cope.
But how shall we help them, oh what can we get?
I suppose the best answer is a big safety net!
On AIDA! On GRIPper! On Grain Price and NISA!
On Crop Insurance! On Bank Loan! On Mastercard and Visa!
To the top of the list, to the limit of credit
I’ll have to make sure that those farmers all get it.
The plan won’t be tricky, they won’t need an accountant.
They’ll just have to ask for the cash and then count it!
They’ll use it to grow food and won’t that be great? Maybe then they’ll get over that old Liberal hate.”
The grain guys were happy, their purse strings were looser
They renewed their subscriptions to the Western Producer.
The staffers exclaimed, as they turned back to write
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
