Q: My son’s father wants him to take piano lessons. He has a keyboard in his house and has offered to buy one for my house should I agree to the piano lessons.
I’m worried about the effort that will go into making sure my son actually practises between lessons and whether it will be worth it in the end.
A: First, let me commend you and your son’s father for not letting your individual differences get in the way of raising your boy. Given the loving environment that both you and his dad are building for him, it is not likely that either of you will make a wrong decision.
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There are plusses and minuses when it comes to piano lessons. In the final analysis, it likely comes down to the preferences that both you and your son’s father have written into your own parent manuals.
Nonetheless, there are some benefits of piano lessons and their nightly commitments to practising that I would like to share with you.
The ultimate plus for having your son enrolled in piano lessons is the long-range resource it gives him as he makes his way through the anxieties and challenges of a world that is not always accommodating to him.
Studies note that those who can take a few moments to play the piano, strum a guitar, blow a flute or what have you find that the time they spend making music is calming to their well-being.
It is called mindfulness, and it means that rather than living their lives as victims to emotional overloads, those who practise make better choices for the most part and lead more successful lives. They are more creative, disciplined and sensitive to the beauty of the world around them.
To indulge the nirvana of the music world, one must first practise and learn one or more instruments. It does not come easy.
Maybe it means that every once in a while you as a parent have to nag a bit to get the full benefits from those weekly piano lessons.
It does not have to be all that bad. Maybe instead of nagging your boy to practise and prepare for his weekly lesson, you could sit down at the keyboard with him and have some fun together. After all, music is all encompassing. It can be as enjoyable for you as it can be for him. And you can have fun.
By the way, the self-discipline that your son is learning when he is practising the piano, even when his friends are off playing a little scrub ball on the school playground, has its own intrinsic merits.
Those who are successful in your community are self-motivated, self-disciplined and bent toward creativity. Many of them had to practise for their piano lessons when they were kids growing up. They may not be practising their pianos as adults, but they can play if they need to, and it is that self-discipline that gets them into their tractors early in the morning to do what needs to be done around the farm.
Piano lessons are not always easy on the parents, either. Some of the music your son is learning sounds pretty awful before it is mastered. I think that if you get some ear plugs and make this venture into music with your son, both you and his father can enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done when one day you walk into the house and actually recognize the music your son is playing.
It makes all of it worth the while.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
