Q: Our son-in-law has quit drinking but still smokes. Am I right to think he should stop smoking, too?
A: How or where your son-in-law goes about his recovery is his decision and his alone. You can support and love and care for him, but what he does is what he chooses to do. Recognizing those boundaries is important.
The research, however, is unequivocal. People who stop smoking while recovering from either alcohol or drug addictions are less likely to relapse than are those who continue to smoke through their treatment programs. Your son-in-law’s chances for success are better if he gives up the smoke along with the drink.
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The problem is that nicotine addictions are overwhelming. Several addictions counsellors to whom I have talked with over the years have told me that beating a nicotine addiction is one of the most difficult habits one can break. It is not easy, and of course the problem for your son-in-law is that if he should try to quit smoking while he is in recovery, he could lose everything, sacrificing significant gains he made with his alcohol addiction because he blew it in the cigarette ring.
None of us want that.
My hope is that while your son-in-law is working on his recovery, he will at least acknowledge that somewhere along the way things will work better when he also butts out.
It is not a matter of “if” he should continue smoking, but “when.”
Having a relapse or two en route to recovery is not the end of the world but why not decrease the chances for those relapses by kicking the nicotine habit as well. His lungs will love him for it.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
