The modern school bully doesn’t have to be the big, loud boy who
pummels smaller boys between classes.
Today’s bullies are just as likely to be girls as boys, and their
bullying can be completely silent, if just as brutal. Instead of the
fist, they are likely to use the computer to deliver their blows.
“I think it’s more of a problem with girls than with boys,” said Jill
Dudar, a Grade 11 student at Gimli Composite High School north of
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“It’s more verbal than physical.”
Classmate Tracy Vincent agreed.
“Bullying isn’t a big problem physically at our school, but there are
other things you have to recognize,” she said.
“It isn’t all blatant.”
Vincent and Dudar were two of hundreds of high school and junior high
school students who gathered in Winnipeg for the two-day Safe Schools
Manitoba conference, which focused on the problem of bullies and
offered methods for fighting the problem.
The students were told that studies reveal that 15 to 20 percent of
students are either bullies or victims, almost all children have
witnessed bullying, that the problem is worst in Grades 6 and 7 and
that bullying rates are the same no matter whether a school’s students
are rich or poor, rural or urban.
Olga Wyshnowsky, a former teacher, principal, superintendent and
university lecturer told the students that spreading a rumour that
someone is pregnant is a form of bullying, as is excluding people and
telling others not to be friends with them.
She said sexual harassment is a form of bullying and has been found in
students in Grades 4 and 5.
Even body language can be used to intimidate.
But the newest form of bullying uses the internet, Wyshnowsky said.
Some students have posted nasty notes about other students on websites
that other students can see. Sometimes the target of the abuse is one
of the last to know about it.
E-mail is a quick way to jab at another student and has become a common
form of bullying.
Morgan Dziad, a Grade 11 student from Arborg, said e-mail abuse is a
lot more common than physical bullying.
“For girls, the messages might be something like ‘you’re a bitch,’ or
‘stop doing this or that,’ or ‘you’re a slut,'” Dziad said.
“Guys might get a message like, ‘you act so gay all the time,’ or ‘get
off the basketball team because you’re not worthwhile.’ “
Dziad said she was glad students at the conference were given advice on
how to minimize bullying. Victims were told to walk proudly, because
bullies pick on people who look scared. They were told to develop
friendships so they wouldn’t be isolated from the rest of the students.
“Don’t be alone,” Wyshnowsky said.
She also urged victims of bullying to talk to other students and
teachers about the problem.
“Don’t keep it a secret.”
Even saying “leave me alone” can deter bullies sometimes, she said.
Wyshnowsky said bystanders shouldn’t encourage bullies by doing
nothing. They should publicly defend the victim, encourage the victim
to report the abuse to school authorities, report bullying themselves,
be willing to confront bullies and be willing to be a friend to the
victims.
Wyshnowsky said students such as those at the conference could help
reduce bullying by supporting victims and confronting bullies.
Dziad said she was encouraged by Wyshnowsky’s talk.
“I thought it was wonderful. It was a real eye-opener,” she said. “I
think people should stand up to bullies. If people take these steps it
should be minimized a lot.”
School division superintendent Doug Anderson, who accompanied Dziad,
Vincent and Dudar at the conference, said he hoped boys and girls will
try to make a difference.
“I hope students realize that they can have a voice and that they are
the solution to many of the problems.”
Dziad said she plans to try.
“Some victims turn it inward, instead of getting to the problem. They
compress it into a ball and pretend like nothing happened,” Dziad said.
“If students have a problem and don’t want to talk to an adult, that’s
what I’m here for. I’m learning this stuff so that I can help them if I
need to.”
